Jason’s Jaw

I don’t know about you, but I love the Olympics.  Rather, I loved the Olympics.  I grew up towards the end of the Cold War. In a time when I was on pins and needles just to see if the Olympics were going to happen with or without a boycott.  Those ultra-pseudo-nationalistic times were great.  No true threat of war (at least in my mind), but the dislike, or hatred of the countries we had such a tough time beating in the “GAMES”.  I was always glued to the television hoping that the United States would destroy the USSR or those damn East Germans.  I was sure that my livelihood, my parents and my future depended on beating the Cheating, Professional, Steroid laden, Commie bastards.  I was secretly hoping for screaming match, fist fight, or at least a crying fit.  Now, we have China or North Korea, to hate.  But lets be honest, in these days of “Love thy neighbor.”  It may or may not be the countries we hate, but the people of these countries we either have no grudge against or we feel sorry for them.  No more blind, misguided anger.   Man, I miss that aggression.

This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.    -     The Dude 1998

Now, that the natural fervor is gone.  The games are not the same to watch.  I do, however, have some ideas to add some spice to the games.  These new ideas should help in the pace of the games, the boredom that we as viewers have now, and an added element of danger that we are lacking.  First, is the ice skating.  Be it, Ice dancing pairs or the Men’s long program.  I’d like to add people to the rink.  My reasoning’s are two fold.  The competitions as are too long.  You add three more pairs or five more individual to the rink at one time, you can finish competitions in a third of the time.  Come on, who wouldn’t like to see that plucky little J. Weir skating at the same time as one of the Kersanko dudes?  Let the name calling and face slapping begin.   I love (not really) the Biathlon.  Imagine Paintball Biathlon.  Instead of shooting targets, you shoot each other.  Every time you get shot, you do an extra lap.  You would have team games and individual events.  Now that’s how we put the excitement back into the games.  Any and all downhill events are done “ACROSS” style.  Twenty skiers all going at once,  in the down hill.  A la   HOT DOG – THE MOVIE.

Short track speed skating stays the same.  But you can’t wear gloves.

Until then, I am going to hate the SWISS.  Choose a side already.

Jason, your humble barista.

Miserable, sad, terrified, hopeless, or hopeful?   Everybody feels horrible about the Earthquake and the aftermath in Haiti. You would have to be pretty damn heartless not to feel sick every time you think of the pain and suffering there. That being said, what can the collective “WE” do? Before the devastating earthquake, Haiti was one of the most poor and politically inept countries on the planet. Starvation and hopelessness was norm.  What has changed?  At what point do “WE” help in a way that makes fundamental change?   After six months of getting the Haitians back on their feet.  What then?  They will be the same or worse off than before.

No one wants to talk about that part of the equation.  I’ve heard the pundits, celebrities and politicians say that now we must give food and aid.  That, later we will address the “other” issues.  Did we learn lessons with Katrina?  In a country that supposedly has an infrastructure, how long did it take for our own people in our own country to make progress?  Times Katrina by ten and you can just get a sense of the horror and pain that they are going through.   The Haitians have lived in misery for years and years and this is what will be their plight for years to come.  Send what you can, but don’t expect to change their situation in the long term.  I am in agreement that we need to help the Haitians any way we can, but for every legitimate organization that is sending supplies to Haiti, there are two lowlife scam companies.

Also, the money and supplies that get to Haiti, what percentage goes to the people?  The Red Cross is a great option, but then again, how has their track record been the past few years?  Where has our help to the Haitians been the last say…five, ten or twenty years?  What about Guinea-Bissau, Solomon Islands, The Congo and the countless other countries that need and deserve help?  Should we start to pray for catastrophes in all these countries?  If the United States feels like it wants to be the World’s Policeman, why not the World’s Benefactor?  Or Philanthropist?  It would be less expensive and more effective.   I weep for the Haitians, but also we should all weep for our own, others, and everyone in need.

We Won, We Always Win

Allan Harris and I went a writers conference recently. Being that we were finalists in a writing contest we felt compelled to attend. Neither Allan nor I particularly wanted to go, especially because Allan had already figured out that we had not won. But more to the point, we just did not want to be there. I am not totally sure why. Both of us want to be successful writers, we like to be around like minded people. We think that we can hold down conversation with just about anybody. We want to promote ourselves and our books. Going to writers conferences just is not our bag. I think the idea of feeling like leeches on an expecting agent or publisher turns us both off. We don’t believe that agents and publishers are there to actually sign writers to deals. Or, even really look hard for up and comers. Yes, we understand that there is a multitude of good reasons to attend, we just don’t. Nevertheless, we went to the conference, late. We were supposed to go to the entire event at a couple hundred bucks a piece. We did not. With some finagling Allan got us into the awards banquet only. At an acceptable 45 dollars a piece. We knew we did not win, but secretly hoped that at the last second the judges have clarity and choose us. Or, the winning author does not show and that being first runner up, we take the crown. Bert Parks sings and we stroll down the catwalk to the cheers of adoring fans. Better yet, as we walk into the banquet, late as always. Publishers, stand up and are compelled as if by a Vulcan Mind Meld to walk to us. We blind them with wit, and good looks. Before we can get the books out of our convenient box from under my arm. The publishers fight, pull hair and fall over themselves to sign us to a multi-book deal. The end.

My fantasies may not be your fantasies.

Instead, we arrive late, go to the only table that has seats in the back of the hall and meekly muster up as much bravado as we can. Sit down and talk to our table mates.

Ended up being a great evening. They announced the winners of the writing contest. We took second. I assume we took second.

Thanks to JET, and Kathryn.

P.S. We did not pay the 45 dollars.

Living in Colorado is amazing…the sun, 390 days a year (give or take) Low humidity, no hurricanes, rare tornadoes, earthquakes?, some snow (let’s get real, it’s not very much). Rain?, here and there. In a word, Phenomenal. BUT, Guess what?………we need the moisture. That’s Colorado’s mantra. I can almost hear it as a chant or as a nineteenth century paper boy calling out, WE NEED THE MOISTURE, WE NEED THE MOISTURE, and on and on. You know what, I know we need the moisture. Why???……. because …………………wait for it…………………

we live in a desert.

We always need the moisture. That’s why I love it here. Whether you really realize it or not, that’s why we all love it here. It’s a great place to live. We’ve had a relatively wet spring. Relatively. Dry winter…in my mind, a great winter. But the last five weeks or so we’ve had some GREAT moisture. A few weeks ago, we had over twenty inches of snow over the weekend. You want to know what the majority customers at the coffee shop said? Can you guess? Yes, your right, WE NEED THE MOISTURE. So we had a ton of snow on this particular weekend. By Tuesday, it was gone. Gone and it was fantastic. By Thursday. Guess what we needed ………MOISTURE. Yes, we had a ton of snow and over the last several weeks we have had a lot of snow and rain. It even rained this morning for two hours, but now it’s 5:30 p.m. And ….yes, you guessed it. You know why? We live in a desert. It could get biblical, 40 days, 40 nights and yes, we would still need the moisture. So next time you come into the shop and you start to utter the phrase, be prepared, there will be consequences.

Cell phones, the scourge of the earth? No, that’s Facebook. But it’s up there. Don’t get me wrong, I am on facebook, (I am not sure why). I have a cell phone, computer access, E- mail, even an i-pod. Which is a lot of gizmos, for a shmo like me.

I could talk about grocery stores, cars, doctors offices, name your annoyance. But I have a coffee shop. Ten years ago, we would get the occasional cell phone user in line. Not a big deal. Rude? No way. I would assume they were a brain surgeon on an important call. Perhaps, saving a life. It happened a few times a week, not a big deal. Plus, they were saving lives.

My employees would get upset, I would attempt to calm them down. Talk to them about, customer service, being pleasant and my bottom line.

Plus, they were saving lives.

Why else would they be in line on the phone? Putting their finger in the air, (as if they are trying to tell me, “ I am on the phone”) as I tried to get their order. They would sometimes whisper…………”I am on the phone, just a sec.” I would smile politely, and wonder to myself, “who they were saving?” “Could I help?” I wanted to shout, “snake a tube down him, I’ll be there in an hour. Stay away from the light.” Instead, I just stood there. Helpless. Just a hapless coffee jock trying to get customers their joe. Inside, I mocked the people in line not on their cell phone. A customer walks in wants to chat a bit. I talk, he talks. We throw what we would call witty banter around, then he goes on his way. I chuckle to myself, “too bad he’s not saving lives.”

Not too long ago, there was a brain surgeon at the front of the line. Obviously upset that he was not being served. He was pointing, whispering and generally getting angry with my incompetence. I just couldn’t figure out what he wanted. I cursed myself for not being clairvoyant. All the while, he was talking to his dying patient about the Rockies baseball game last night. There were three customers behind this man. Obviously getting upset. I recognized them as teachers from my son’s school. They sulked, sneered and finally looked at me like I should take their order before his. Could they not see that this man was in front of them? That he was on the phone? That he was important? They were just teachers. I smiled, and pointed to the man. Trying to be quiet so not to interrupt him. Instead he gave me the stink eye. I was trying to let the customers behind him, (who were not important enough to be on the phone), know that he was first. Oops. The guy whispers something undetectable to me and shows me the phone. Puts it close to my face and…..No!….he slams it shut. I had finally really done it, I killed someone.

As time has gone by, the amount of life saving has increased exponentially. Now, there’s nine people in line and three are saving lives. We have a lot of brain surgeons in this town. Some will hurriedly talk, then get off the phone. I will smile, they look at me as if I just had killed their patient. I feel terrible. Others, will apologize to the person on the other phone.

“I am at the counter now, please hold.” Again, I feel bad. This person’s life is on the line, and I have the gall to interrupt. I am just trying to do my job, trying to take their order. I just want to help.

“Bad barista” I think to myself. Many a night I’ve gone to bed wondering how many people I may have inadvertently killed that day. All in all, I have the best customers a coffee jock could want or have. I am just trying to educate those customers in line who are not as important as the brain surgeons.

Damn Bluetooths.

^your lowly barista

Ten years ago today (Jan. 22, 1999) Crowfoot opened.  It has been a strange trip.  Ups and downs for sure.  Probably more downs than ups.  But it’s the quality of ups and not the quantity of downs that has me in a good mood today.  I have two outstanding boys, a myriad of friends, family and support of all sorts.  Written two books with Allan Harris.  Working on a third and a movie.  Almost  everything that has transpired over the past years have been so much more than expected.  Not in every aspect is that positive or negative.  I’d like to focus on the positive (at least for now.  I will vent later).  My friendships through CVC are so much better than I expected.  Most of my customers are amazing, (a few of you are punks.  You know who you are.)  Over the years, I am convinced that I have had the best employees in all of Castle Rock.   I’ve kept myself busy…..not busy enough, but busy.  I am truly blessed. To everyone around me who loves me and is involved with my life from the bottom of my heart, thank you.  Thanks to Douglas County, Castle Rock and all those who have supported me.   Now get your butts in the store.

^your lowly barista